Why?
by Hermiron
Summary: A Hermione/Ron fanfic


Why?

No. It won't work. It can never work. We've tried it before. Many times. We're just too different. We can't keep doing this. Every time we just end up angry and hurt. It stresses our friendship. And I don't want to lose that too. It's all I have with her. 

We've been through so much together. All the times we got in trouble; the many unforgettable times we had to deal with you-know-who; all the dangers we've been through. Through all of that…she must see…that I love her. She must at least see that. She has to know that I would do anything to protect her. At least…I think she does.

I've got to stop putting myself through this. It'll never happen. It always ends the same way. It's our last year. I don't want to ruin it by trying for something that'll never work. 

But it hurts. Just looking at her is painful. She's so beautiful. I wish I could hold her. This longing…it just won't go away! Why can't she see this?

It's not going to happen! Why do I keep thinking about this? I know how it'll end. We have a fight, we both say hurtful things that we don't mean, and we stay mad at each other for weeks. I can't do this again. It's too painful. No. Not again, I can't—I won't do it anymore.

Why does he have to be so stubborn? Why can't he just admit when he's wrong? And why does he keep looking at me? I wonder what he's thinking…knowing him, he's probably hoping I'll let him copy my homework. God, how can he just pretend nothing ever happened between us? He's so…ugh! I hate him! 

So why can't I stop loving him? Why him? Why not any other guy? There're so many nicer, better-tempered guys here. And yet…he's so sweet. And he's got that way of looking at you…with those eyes of his…makes you melt. Why did I have to choose him? Why did he have to choose me? Why….

# Back to the end of their fourth year…

This is it. The end of term feast. It's now or never. 

I can't do it. She'll never go for it. We're just friends. She doesn't like me like that. Not like she liked…him. But that was a mistake. I could see that from the beginning, even when she couldn't. He wasn't right for her. He doesn't care about her like I do. In the end, she realized that he wasn't the one. I just wish she'd realize that…I am. 

I've got to do it. I'll take my chances. I just hope she won't laugh in my face. God, I want her. 

Now. She's alone. Do it!

I walk up to her. She turns to me and smiles. God, I love her smile. Say something!

"Umm…hi Hermione."

"Hi Ron."

"Nice feast, isn't it?"

"Yeah it's great! I can't believe we won the house cup again!"

"Yeah…" Ask her! "Listen…would you…do you…"

"What is it Ron?"

"Do you want to go out with me sometime?" I blurt out blushing bright red. She looks surprised. Please, please, please don't say no!

No! He did not just ask me out! Oh my god…what am I going to do? It's Ron…I've never thought about him that way before…or have I? Now that I think about it, he is pretty cute. He looks so nervous…I better say something quickly. 

"Sure, Ron. I'd love to!"

"Really? Great!" He says beaming. 

Wow…could he really like me? Why didn't I ever notice it before? Because I was with that other guy…I can't believe I wasted my time with that jerk. When I could have been with Ron…but I won't think about that now. 

I take his hand and smile at him. I feel light-headed. I wonder if he feels the same way….  
  


# Present time…

I can still remember the day I first asked her out. I was so nervous; my hands were sweating. I couldn't believe it when she said yes. I felt like jumping up and down and shouting. But I barely had the strength to move. 

She held my hand. It felt so good, so right. I thought I was going to die of happiness. It was the best day of my life. 

And now…she's sitting just a few feet away, yet I can't even touch her. I want to feel her soft hair…or hold her hand like we did that first time. Maybe if I just…no. I can't. Not after what happened last time. 

We have such stupid fights. They're not even about anything important. And it's usually my fault. Maybe I should say I'm sorry…but it won't matter. I'm sure she doesn't want to be with me anymore. But…I need her. 

Why can't he just say he's sorry? He's so stubborn! Why can't he just say it so we can be together again? But maybe he doesn't want that. Maybe he's fed up with all this arguing that is our relationship. Maybe he's tired of…me. 

Just thinking that makes my heart hurt. Could he really just stop loving me? I know he still cares; he's still my friend. And he will always be there me. But…does he still love me? Did he ever love me? He never actually told me that he did…but I knew…I think I knew…

I wish he'd hold me like he used to. It's so comforting. It lets me forget the rest of the world, and just be happy. Just lying in his arms…dreaming…

I need him.

# Fast forward to about a month before graduation…

I can't believe this is happening…once again, we're up against He-who-must-not-be-named. I'm such a coward. I just hope I don't pass out. 

Harry, Hermione, and I are standing just twenty feet away from HIM. I move closer to Hermione just in case anything happens.

I think HE sensed what I was thinking, because I see him looking at her. My heart drops as I see him raise his wand and point it at her and I panic.

"NOOO!!! MOBILIARBUS!!!" I screamed pointing my wand at Hermione, not quite knowing what I was doing. The force of my spell threw Hermione out of the way of his blast but also hit her hard against the wall. The wall behind where Hermione had stood just moments before had gotten the full blast so that now there was a huge hole in it. 

I realized that my spell had knocked Hermione unconscious and I ran to her. What have I done?? Please be alright Hermione, please! Forgetting about everything but Hermione, I let Harry handle you-know-who. Everything else was just a blur.

# A couple weeks later in the hospital wing…

Once again I'm sitting by Hermione's bed as she lies unconscious. She's been like this for two weeks. Will she ever wake up? 

I can hear Harry and Madam Pomfrey talking by the door.

"How's Hermione doing?" asked Harry.

"Same as before. No sign of waking up." Madam Pomfrey replied shaking her head.

"Poor Ron…he's spent every minute of his free time by her bed." Harry said watching me.

"He's a good boy. He must be exhausted." She answered as they left the room.

I am exhausted. But I'm not leaving this room until Hermione wakes up. I have to be here holding her hand when she does…it's all my fault…how could I do this to her? I watch her lying on the bed with tears in my eyes. She looks so peaceful. Even after being knocked out for two weeks, she looks as beautiful as ever. 

Why did I never tell her? I should have told her so many times…but I never had the nerve. Now…I just hope nothing happens…no. Nothing's going to happen. She'll be alright. And when she wakes up, I'll tell her. Oh god, please wake up Hermione. Please! I can't live without you. I need you. I love you.

"I love you." I whisper. Then I can't take it anymore. I lay my head on my arms and cry.

What was that? Where am I? My head hurts…I open my eyes to find myself lying on a bed in the hospital wing. Then I notice that Ron is sitting by my bed holding my hand. He looks upset…is he…is he crying? 

I squeeze his hand and say "Ron? What's wrong?"

He looks up quickly, his face streaked with tears. He opens his mouth in shock.

"Hermione? You're awake!" He yells and gives me a long hug. "I'm so glad you're ok. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" He says still crying.

"Sorry for what?" I ask.

"For doing this…to you." He's still hugging me.

"You didn't do anything to me. It was…wait a minute. What happened with…?" suddenly remembering what we had been doing before.

"Gone. Harry destroyed him once and for all. We're safe now. We're safe…"

"That's great! So what's the matter? Ron? Why are you crying?" I ask gently.

"I was just…so worried about you…I wasn't sure if you would…" he trailed off.

"What, and leave you here with that Lavender Brown girl? I think not." I say smiling.

Finally, Ron smiles, but then falters.

"Hermione…" he stammers, "I want you to know…that…that I…I love you."

My heart skips a beat as he says those words. He said it. He really does love me!

I start crying too as I say "Oh Ron…I love you too…so much."

It's the best feeling in the world. My heart is dancing as I hear those words. She loves me too…I feel like I'm dreaming. Now THIS is the best day of my life. 

I finally break out of the hug and look at her. 

"Hermione, say that you'll never leave me." I plead.

"Never." She replies, smiling.

The word and the smile melt me, and we get lost in a long, sweet kiss.


End file.
